Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
