The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
