i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
