Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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