i don't like sucking hair
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
