I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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