people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
