I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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