Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
