I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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