i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
