I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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