I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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