I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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