wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
