i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
