it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think your dad took our porno
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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