I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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