i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
