the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
