Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
