Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry BAMonster hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis

Fav 82 11648 2013
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

That's why there are breakfast margaritas.

Fav 3 3509 1157
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.

Fav 10 4942 2070
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.

Fav 2 1100 2061
share tweet
(260): View more from Indiana

He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF

Fav 5 2098 921
share tweet
(507): View more from Minnesota

I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.

Fav 2 1197 748
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.

Fav 11 1977 738
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS

Fav 0 233 258
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.

Fav 0 78 51
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT