theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
