They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
