i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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