we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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