At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
