how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
