What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
