this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
