The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
