Who did Billy Mays play for?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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