Plan B is the new Plan A
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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