don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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