I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
