My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
