you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
