So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
