I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
