Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
