problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
