why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
