you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
