Im at strip club and am horny
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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