she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
