I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
