Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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