i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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