I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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