dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
