don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
